Matthew Henty

This has to be one of the best quotes of the post-crunch period:

“GE’s problems could not have been foreseen, he insists. “We had McKinsey do a study in July 2007 and we asked them to say how long the global liquidity bubble will last and they came back and said forever, so it wasn’t like we didn’t ask the tough questions.”"

In a Guardian puff-piece on General Electric here: http://m.guardian.co.uk/?id=102202&story=http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2010/jan/14/general-electric-jeff-immelt-multinational

I want to get a Migration Authorisation Code (MAC) from Sky Broadband, so that I can sign up with a cheaper offer from O2. And so that when it is sorted out it will be possible for me to cancel Sky without losing the internet.

This should not be difficult. They even have an online form to fill in. Which mysteriously crashes if you want to cancel a service. Of course they have a really snazzy online, automatic system for upgrading to the next ridiculously expensive HD package or whatever.

So I phone. And after very carefully following the menu options I speak to someone, who takes my details, performs a ridiculous security check and then informs me that I have gone through to sales. SO WHY TAKE ALL MY DETAILS WHEN YOU KNOW YOU CAN’T HELP ME!!! Then transfers me to what sounds like some guy at a desk – not a call centre who gives me another number to phone. Doesn’t even transfer me. And that number turns out to be for the sales hotline. Eh?

Try again….

Get into a discussion about how they have the spelling of my surname, go through a different set of “security” questions. He has to talk to his supervisor. Why? Why am I on hold for this long, this is costing me 5p a minute. Then told I need to be put through the the MAC Code (er, that be the Migration Authorisation Code Code would it?) department. On hold again. 5p a minute, “thanks for waiting!…….thanks for calling sky and thanks for waiting!……thanks for waiting!….”.

Get through to a nice person called Jenny. Who makes a brave attempt to get me to sign up to Sky Talk. And does a good job too, with 12 months free line rental thrown in, which is £120 of free money whatever way you look at it.

But it took an hour to get to this point from first filling in the online form. And I have my MAC, so I think I will use it. Just because I am so annoyed at this waste of my time.

Simon Caulkin is one of my favourite columnists. I turn to the page he shares with William Keegan in the Observer Business & Media section first of a Sunday morning. They both remind me of things I know, make me think, and help me understand things I only nearly knew or understood before.

Last Sunday, Simon Caulkin addressed the Healthcare Comssion report on the Stafford Hospital, amongst other things. Now, we know that targets distort behaviour. That is the purpose of setting a target, to focus effort and enterprise in a particular direction, towards a particular aim. We also know that this focus of attention in a particular direction leads to a reduction in focus in other directions. And we know that you can only set a target for something you can measure. Such as the average waiting time in the A&E of Stafford Hospital.

We know all these things. Yet, perhaps, we didn’t know that the result of setting targets (such as, to repeat, the average waiting time in the A&E of Stafford Hospital) would be 400 excess deaths between 2005 and 2008. That too is worth repeating; 400 excess deaths between 2005 and 2008.

Now, anybody with a hint of common sense (or any training in cost benefit analysis) knows that against this tremendously high cost we must measure the benefits of setting such targets. I don’t know what they are, though I imagine they are things such as fewer very long waits in the A&E of Stafford Hospital before admission to a ward. This probably saves lives. How many? Was it worth it?

Caulkin ends his article with a health warning for targets proposed within the pages of the Academy of Management Perspectives:

Goals may cause systematic problems in organisations due to narrowed focus, increased risk-taking, unethical behaviour, inhibited learning, decreased co-operation, and decreased intrinsic motivation.

8th February 2008.

14:41 – Decided to keep a time log, after spending the preceding hour dossing on the internet.

14:43 – Gave up on the idea. Made me feel really tired.

Or maybe I just don’t understand:

Which, if any, of the following things would you be prepared to give up to know everything? [Please tick all that apply]

My job

Freedom

Alcohol

My family

My car

My friends

Sex

My house

None of the above

Don’t know

… is all about memories… which is why it makes us happy”.

Tamsin Day-Lewis speaking on Midweek on Radio 4. She went on to describe her happy early memories of food, and the impact that has had on her foodie life since.

My first memories of food are of trying to eat an eel my father had caught and my mother had cooked. Awful. Second memory is being given a biscuit after being told my grandmother had died.

I do like biscuits though….